Life of Brian

When I'm chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble give a whistle. And this'll help thing's turn out for the best.
Words to live by! Yes like most people with good taste, I love Monty Python. From their flying circus to the feature films. Even the Meaning of Life, that still got a major laugh out of me. By far the most popular film out of their catalog is The Life of Brian. Released in 1979, it is essentially a satire on the life of Jesus and the people of Jerusalem. I managed to see the film on the big screen recently thanks to the Royal picture show in The Belltable in Limerick (can you believe, the first time being showed in Ireland since it was banned). Not only that, but I managed to meet none other than Julian Doyle, editor, writer, cinematographer for the Python's. I feel as though I got a better appreciation for the art and themes of the film, all thanks to the unseen master behind the camera.

As you can guess the controversy was widespread and incredibly overblown. I think it was for those reasons that the film became so popular. As for myself, it is a decent film, but let's get to the story first.

Following the life of Brian Cohen, a young man from Nazareth who was born next door to Jesus, we see the trials and tribulations of his life as he avoids the Roman Empire at all cost's, becomes the new Messiah and try to get it on with Judith (OK, that's in layman's terms). In his pursuit of normality and liberation from the Romans, he joins with the People's Front of Judea (Not the Judean People's Front, splitter's) and journeys from Jerusalem to Space.

For those of you who don't know about or don't like Monty Python, where have you been all your life, under a rock. But watching this film doesn't require any prior knowledge of the troupe. You will expect slapstick, dark, physical, verbal and black comedy in the forms of double entendre's, pun's and so on and so forth. If there is anything I do not like about the film, however, it is the...well the...you know what, I don't think there is anything actually bad in this film. The jokes hit bulls-eye every time, the characters are memorable, not to mention contributing so much to the genre of Comedy and Satire. I suppose what I don't like is the movie being chosen as the best from Python, my personal favorite is the Holy Grail. It's great, but not the greatest. But I do say it is a tad dated.

At the time of production, the area used was previously utilized to film another film and so they merely used what prop's were yet to be sent back to Britain. Also the integration of animation and live action was good for it's time, but know it stick's out like a sore thumb. But in a way this add's to the effect of the film. I mean, using the same actors in three different roles is used to hilarious degree's, the over the top action and the the astounding bluntness of how idiotic everyone is. At a young age I was always irritated by how idiotic a character or characters were, yet here it is so blatantly obvious that everyone is an idiot and so no feeling's are hurt and we can avoid any antisemitism (seriously, can we ever get over that).

Speaking of antisemitism, Julian Doyle actually wrote a book on the production of the film, explaining how of all the films of the life of Christ, this is the most accurate. You know what, I'm entitled to believe him. It analyzes all aspects of christian faith, the social and moral dilemma's of AD and trials and tribulations of becoming a martyr for a cause (any cause). I compare it to the Kevin Smith film Dogma, both are satires on faith and Christianity, but also examine's the factors of how a misunderstanding or a good point can be elaborated on in the most outlandish and incomprehensible of ways. (Note to self: Review Dogma)

I think if I had to choose my favorite scene, I don't think i could. I mean we've got "What have the Romans ever done for us", "Bigus Dickus", "The Stoning", "The Sermon on the mount", "Follow the Messiah", etc,etc,etc. You have such a wide variety of memorable moments, memorable lines like "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy" and the best closing song to a film ever. 

9 out of ten stars

««««««««««

Primer

Hey there, I hope your ready for some thought provoking Science Fiction. No? You only like action packed, alien filled, laser firing Sci-fi? Well, after watching this movie I wouldn't blame you. It's a low budget, independent film by Shane Carruth released in 2004. It wasn't a box office hit, yet received rave reviews. So as you can imagine, it now has a cult following. But why does a movie that was filmed with unknown actors and low budget lighting and cameras receive such high acclaim, let's take a look. 

So the film follows two engineer's, Aaron and Abe, who are developing a device for reducing weight of objects for long distance travel. What instead follows is a device that from the moment it's turned on to when it's turned off, the object will time travel. After some testing, a larger "Box" is created for humans. They begin to use it for personal gain by manipulating the stock market, but later use it for more malevolent and self-centered gain. What follows is Abe attempting to prevent the use of the Box and Aaron always one step ahead. The rule of use is actually simple to follow:

1. The person activates the delay switch and leave to prevent a paradoxical encounter with the future time travelling self.
2. Prepare for entering the box and avoid encountering acquaintances that might later encounter your double.
3. Enter box for six hours and begin process of travelling back whatever length of time you have input.
4. Exit Box, you are now a double as you have traveled back a period of time during which you have not yet entered the time machine and therefore two of you exist simultaneously.
5. Use what you know to redo or control event. Your simultaneous double will no longer exist, his future is to enter the machine, thus creating a loop. See, simple.

You know, it may sound like most time travel movies, but the premise is very clever. In the case of most discoveries, they have been accidental from penicillin to telephone's. So the idea of time travel being a by-product of a device so minuscule, yet so powerful, it makes me wonder why nobody has pursued the idea yet. But another good idea of this film is it's philosophical debate, whether it's right to meddle in the natural order of the physical world, while at the same time science is the pursuit of knowledge against the established order of physics.

My major praise however extends to the ambition of writer Shane Carruth, by telling a classic science fiction story of time travel through a suitable medium of low budget film techniques for a low budget scientific invention, which lends the story to a more realistic tone. Nowhere is this more evident than in the dialog. Oh it's not quotable or even comprehensible for that matter, but the dialog consists mainly of complex technical statistics and jargon. I would say only engineers, graduates and scientists could understand the films dialog, which is probably where the cult audience came from. I should respect this film for it's portrayal of science in an accurate and realistic way, whilst contemplating scientific questions that have plagued man since it's discovery of Earth rotating the Sun. This something I really wanted to do if I became a screenwriter and/or director (here's hoping!).

However, while I admire the film's themes and ideas...it's pretty bad. You know when I said that only scientists could understand the dialog, I really mean it (I had to read the Wikipedia page after watching it twice and still not getting it) and this problem stems from Shane. As a graduate of Mathematics and former engineer, he would serve better as a scientific consultant for the script, for he clearly has no conception of the idea of Character, their development, flowing narrative or knowing when enough plot is enough.

Instead of a film that could be both scientifically accurate, philosophically sound and intriguing in it's character, we get a clunky, confused and sometimes lazy film. In the end, the film bored me, which I find even worse than being bad (as the bad ideas or decisions can be fun to laugh at). It really isn't ready for the more mainstream audience, the dialog is only suitable for college graduates, the plot is confusing and at times convoluted and the narrative and characters are so bland I get their names mixed up at the beginning of the film.

2 stars out of 10. 

Top Ten (Sigh) Scary Movie Franchise Moments

WAIT! Before I divide my audience and drive away those who hate these movies let me just say...these movies are TERRIBLE. They have contributed nothing to film other than imitations and a lazy style of comedy that is constantly repeated so as to get a quick buck. The stories are bogus, rip-offs or pretentious, the characters are bland and unlikable and it only serves up some poop and snot gags with puns and sexual humour. But it's not all bad. Sure about 85-90% of each movie is poorly written crap, but every so often we get at least one good joke or funny moment. And we are here to talk about it today so that anyone who wants to watch these movies, they merely see this list, see the only good moments on offer and get an understanding that the rest of the movie roughly the same, but without any additional effort. I suppose I should warn you about what sort of language and images you'll hear and see, well be warned of racist comments, foul language and sexual content.

10. Jigsaws 2nd torture scene:

As we near the end of Scary Movie 4, we are given a scene in which Cindy and her friends are captured and forced to torture themselves in order to save their loved ones. This includes finding a key behind a fake eye, Tom being tortured with purple-nurples, wet-willies and nut-crackers. Another good moment is Brenda actually breaking into the Jig-Saw recording booth and going totally American Idol. It makes me laugh, so, yeah next scene.

9. Femme Fatal

Carmen Electra gets her first of many famous cameos in the Wayan Bros. films. In a parody of Drew Barrymore's famed cameo, Carmen makes all the cliched Dumb Blond moves and essentially is used for sex appeal. I don't know why I think this scene is so funny, maybe it's just so blatant with it's jokes, you laugh just in spite of yourself. Or maybe it's just so bad it's good. (Let's be honest, Electra is not a good actress, she's like Paris Hilton except hot)

8. Shakespeare in Pain 

Don't you hate it when people talk during the movies, well Brenda does nothing but that. She breaks every rule in various over the top ways, before finally getting the comeuppance from the film audience. Everyone's pissed, even Mother Theresa and the Pope. And hey they managed to kill off one of my least favorite characters, so that's a plus.

7. The Exorcism

One does not forget the inclusion of James Woods (As well as other comedic greats, but we'll get to that later). The humour of Woods and Andy Richter bounce off of each other like an SNL sketch, which is good considering that both are alumni of the show. It's just really funny because of who they got, although that vomit fight can get quite disturbing.

6. Hanson vs Hartman

More like "hand"son vs Hartman, each scene exchange jibes and insults from "walking away from a fight" to "giving him a hand". I know it's inappropriate, but it's sort of like seeing a man in a hoodie helping an elder cross the road saying 'I'll take you to the other side'. You wouldn't do it, but you'll 

laugh if you saw it. In fact most of the scenes where Hanson is in, it's funny to see the characters revulsion at his 'handy' nature.

5. News report

In one of the more goofy scenes, Cindy tries to warn the world of the alien threat, how? By hijacking the teleprompter. Everything from gibberish to a presidential candidacy is included. Not much to say but, I think it's pretty funny.

4. Marlon Wayans

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but he is the funniest non-veteran comedians in the entire series. He has great slapstick, great one liners (need we forget: RUN BITCH! RUN!) and just some all around funny scenes. My favorites being Wazzup!, basketball andd rap battle. It's strange as I don't like him in anything else, but here the series in my opinion suffered without him, in spite of his high pitched voice and annoying racial stereotypes.

3. President Nielsen 

You know, it's a sad moment when you realize that most of the world only knows Leslie Nielsen from this franchise. But at least he is introduced and all of his scene's are hilarious. But in my opinion, Nielsen actually downplays his comedy, not getting in as good a laugh as his earlier material. However he is probably the funniest and most likable character in the entire series. I would put two scenes here, but my favorite is probably this.

2. Bad design

George Carlin has the best scene in Scary movies 3, parodying the Matrix by explaining the origin of Tabitha. He's a funny comedian and this is actually the first trolling of the Matrix Reloaded (seriously, what was he talking about). Although there is a much better version on youtube starring Will Farrell. Just like the exorcism scene, it has a good comedian delivering such deadpan humour.

1. Ghostface

The reason I see this as the best moments in the series is due to Dave Sheridans performance, it's like they asked him to improvise all his lines and the rest was written by the cast of SNL. He has the best physical, slapstick and verbal humour and his laid back character is actually one of the funniest villains of all the Wayan Bro's films (that's not really a compliment). 

So yeah, these are the funniest moments in the entire franchise. The better ones are probably Scary movie 1 and 3 in comparison to the other two, but that's the same as saying that piece of shit is better than this piece of shit. In the end, the films are to be avoided. This is Film 101 on how not to make a comedy, so in which case you should see it. Maybe then we can stop making such crap. We are one step closer then to stopping Transformers and Twilight knock-offs.