Wednesday 30 October 2013

Killer Klowns from outer space

Well what do you expect to say about a movie with a title like this, I mean "Killer Klowns from outer space" has got to be one of the most hilarious titles I have ever seen reviewing cult movies. It's like "Snakes on a Plane", what you see is what you will get. Oh boy this is going to be difficult. Let's just get this one over with.

So the story follows two teens (Or actors trying to look like teens, seriously why can't we ever get amateur actors from film schools who are still in their teens to play teenagers), as they come across a circus tent in the middle of the woods while looking for a shooting star. After entering, they discover bodies wrapped in cotton candy and an army of clowns with weapons like a strangling party blower, live blow-up animals, popcorn guns and a cotton candy laser (How can I be taken seriously if I have to say stuff like that). Anyway, the teens make their way to the authorities to explain their story, but as per the usual horror/sci-fi movie town, they don't believe them (Gee, I wonder why?). All while this happens, the clowns cause havoc and murder many of the residents in, I have to admit it, a very comedic fashion filled with acid pies, puppet shows, mallets and ding-dong-ditch methods. It's a race to get the public to listen to them and defeat the evil klowns.

There are many reasons I can hate this movie. One is the acting and the characters. Everyone's an idiot or ass-hole, they never thought to use their guns until the very end (and only bring one!) and the two twins that help the heroes are so annoying (they're like the Rob Schneider's of this movie, not much use or fun). And to tell the truth the Klowns are not scary. I never had coulrophobia or any other irrational fears (in fact my fear is non-exploitative, Vertical Heights). Also I didn't laugh as much due to my watching of a new TV show, Gravity Falls, which is so funny that I will not talk about until December. I had it on my mind throughout the entire movie and in comparison the film wasn't even funny in comparison.

But to tell the truth, if you stick through it you will find some generally creepy and funny moments. One such moment is when a Klown is luring a little girl to him in a very pedaphilic matter only for him to hit her over the head with a mallet. Another genuinely funny moment is when a klown is doing shadow puppets and eventually makes a dinosaur that eats people. Also the spaceship, tech and effects are very 50's sci-fi inspired,  with references thrown here and there for good measure.  And the Klowns can be genuinely creepy from time to time. But my main reason I am in favor of the movie is because of the soundtrack. The songs are hilarious and catchy and rocking. 

So in my opinion, if you have time to waste or you have nothing else to do, then I suggest giving it a watch. It's campy, hoaky and a lot of fun.

Monday 28 October 2013

Dawn of the Dead


From the godfather of zombie movies, comes the sequel to whats considered the greatest zombie movie of all time. Here is Dawn of the Dead. 

Of course being a horror movie from the seventies, it has it's filled with camp feel, cheap gore effects, cheesy acting and a retro, synthesizer filled sound-track. 

The story follows four survivors of the zombie apocalypse of the previous film. By this point the world has now been overrun by the living dead. Society is in chaos and there is little that the public can do to repel this onslaught. Politicians are arguing the right course of action and scientists are baffled. As the heroes escape, they stumble across a shopping mall overrun with the ghouls. Have you ever had a dream of being trapped in a shopping mall, I have and it's a dream like no other. here they take advantage of all the store has to offer, while at the same time constantly barricading it and reinforcing it. As the day's grow longer, we see the survivors grow less and less humane, all the while society crumbles. 

To tell the truth, even though I have seen this film reported in many must see film lists, it's an all right film to say the least. It wasn't bad by any means, but my problem is that going in I expected to be scared from scene to scene. At the start it was promising, whole crowds clambering to survive a police raid while a TV station tries to stay on the air. But the pace slow's gradually, allowing us to breath and take in what we just saw. And of course when we get to the famous mall, we get the famous message of consumerism turning us into zombies. You know what, it's right and it still is accurate to this day. So in some terms the film is less a horror film today, as much as it is a cautionary tale/social satire. Little did Romero know that the message would still hold up today. At it's peak I suppose, it was probably a very scary movie. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize that horror is one of the best combinations of drama and comedy. The drama is represented by the sadness and fear caused by the horror and comedy comes from the satire of society and their reactions to certain events. In this form, Romero uses these factors to hammer home the message that he includes in each of his films (Like Aesop's fables each have a moral), eg. racism and consumerism.

But all is not lost. The acting is enjoyable and the characters are memorable, especially Peter Washington, played by Ken Foree (he was on Kenan & Kel), this guy is menacing, intimidating and friendly all at the same time and you know what he is one of those black men that doesn't die first, so you don't know if he will survive to the end! Also you can't beat the effects of the great Tom Savini, still in his hay-day, he crafted some amazing practical effects and make-up, making each shot feel and each splatter heart poundingly real. Yes of course there is the music...I hate it. It's distracting, loud and not very catchy (In fact I wouldn't mind if it was cut from the movie entirely). But man is that finale something. I won't give away much but man it is gut wrenching and gruesome.

So in my opinion, not a bad movie but not one of the best I have ever seen. Might be good for one viewing, but real horror buffs will love it. But you might not want to watch it with your friends, unless they love horror, because it can be a very boring film at times.


Sunday 27 October 2013

I voted for Epic Rap Battles of History


I hope the guys win best artist over those other fakers.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil


From the wide range of Horror comedies, from Shaun of the Dead to Zombieland to Killer Klowns from outer space, comes this one movie that....doesn't in the least bit scare, me but is sure as hell funny.
Starting out watching this movie you would think it would start out the same way it ends...predictable. Cheap scares and poor dialog with abysmal acting and a side order of "seriously this was supposed to be scary". But as a matter of fact, as soon as the first scene was over and it moved to Tucker and Dales point of view, we finally got a good movie and we knew what to expect. We expected humor, gore(lots and lots) and even a little romance/bromance with Dale and Ally and with Dale and Tucker (in that order, not the other way around).
So whats the story, A group of college kids...seriously already, why can't we do something really horrific like elementary school kids(OK a little dark, but still some variety is needed), as they make their way to a week-end in the country side(again real original, watch "hell no" trailer for what I mean) were they of course have a 'bad run in' with two hillbillies. I don't think its really fair to call them that, maybe rednecks or county-folk, but why in the hill's. After a brief misunderstanding, it's the Hillbillies vs the hills in a battle of gut churning and side splitting proportions. Along the way, Dale try's to overcome his fears and inferiority complex to talk to their 'captive' Allison, as a romance blossoms between the two.

Let's get off my chest with what I dislike. Well I wish it was more horror orientated than gore. That's not to say that the deaths aren't hilarious, but it is more of a satire of the slasher genre than a clever, funny horror film. Also the main antagonist is kind of psychotic (I mean Jack Nicholson from the shining crazy), this guy is nut's, nothing is subtle and yet we find ourselves laughing at his attempts to lead and inspire the Jersey Shore crowd. The only time I found him intimidating is when he threatens the heroes lives and when he gets disfigured. His back story is warped and messed up and he is out for revenge almost before the misunderstanding happened.

But of those things, all is not lost, as it can still be watched during Halloween. The gore is off the chain and everywhere. Everybody suffers and we just can't help but laugh at the whole absurdity of it. There is a scene where one of the teens try to kill Tucker and he literally throws himself into the wood-chipper that Tucker's working on. That is so unbelievable and idiotic you just have to laugh at it. And when it dawns on the two that these guy's are out to kill them, there logic is so bizarre, that it explains every single horror movie/killer/slasher's motivation so far. Also the acting is entertaining. The teen's act like over-the-top teens and fun, Katrina Bowden has a lot of fun with the role even going so far as being the psychologist for the battling teams. and of course we have Alan Tudyk (Firefly) and Tyler Labine (Reaper) as Dale and Tucker. They each have there parts to play and come off as the best of friends you almost swear they had known each other their whole lives. Tyler steals the show as the oafish yet lovable Dale. Fighting with his inferiority complex (But he's not a bad guy once you get to know him and...I don't know, ladies you have better say on the matter, he's not totally unattractive.)

So overall, a very funny film with a good script satirizing the slasher genre and even has a bit of heart in it. The acting is bearable and the film in it's entirety is memorable. So I would recommend you watch it as a treat, you will not regret it.

Friday 25 October 2013

The Raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore 
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“ ’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door 
Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;  vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow sorrow for the lost Lenore 
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore 
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“ ’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door 
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; 
This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you” here I opened wide the door; 
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” 
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore 
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;
‘Tis the wind and nothing more!”
              (Are you scared yet?, You will be!)
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door 
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door 
Perched, and sat, and nothing more. 

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore 
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much I marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning  little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door 
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered not a feather then he fluttered 
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before 
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore 
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘Never nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore 
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!  prophet still, if bird or devil! 
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted 
On this home by Horror haunted  tell me truly, I implore 
Is there  is there balm in Gilead?  tell me tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!  prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us  by that God we both adore 
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore 
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting 
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted 
 nevermore!
 
video by  Corwynbv
As one of my favorite Poems I thought it necessary to promote it. The tale tells of a widowed scholar tormented by a Raven, Is it the devil? maybe, perhaps the spirit of Lenore haunts him still, or maybe he is too spooked to think straight and is probably very superstitious. Make of it what you will, I shall return with the review of "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" on Sunday. And for those to lazy to read, here is a reading by a familiar voice of darkness.

Sunday 20 October 2013

Sweeney Todd the Demon barber of Fleet street

Right off the bat I just want to say I swear I am not re-reviewing Les Miserables.  So in case you mix up this review for that  movie, it's not. So let us make haste and review this sucker. This is Sweeney Todd.
In honor of the Halloween month, I have decided not to review a cult horror movie today (Yeah like I haven't done that before!) Instead I will be concentrating my efforts on the grim and gruesome musical, often quoted by critics as one of Burton's best films since Ed Wood. Although it did well at the box-office, it isn't held as high a regard in the general public as a good musical, well to them I say...Shut up it is!

The story (For this review I might be revealing a lot more of the plot than most, but I just want to be sure, so SPOILERS!): the story follows the newly relieved, wrongly convicted convict (Val Jean much), Benjamin Barker. To enact his revenge on a ruthless, demented man of the law (umm...Javert) Judge Turpin. Along the way he is assisted by Ms. Lovitt, a pie shop owner down on her luck, and Anthony, a fellow con who is quite coincidentally infatuated with Sweeney's daughter. Along the way he kills average men who dares to attend his barber shop and helping Ms. Lovitt by providing her with some free, fresher supply of...MEAT. Wait...Lovitts pie's aren't food...THEIR PEOPLE! YOUR EATING PEOPLE! Oh and Sacha Baron Cohen is in it too. (Tom Hooper must have watched this and said I want these actors and this plot, Thank you Cinemasins.)

So as you can tell the story is what I say is "Les Miserables meeting the Count of Monte Cristo with each one throwing a bucket of tomato juice at each other". But that's not a bad thing. In the film, Johnny Depp plays Todd as a cold yet tragic figure who longs for normality and justice at all costs. I think he threw normality out the window after murdering Adolfo Pirelli. Many say his singing wasn't the best but still suited the character's brooding, sullen nature. But you know what he is a very good singer in my opinion (OK, not Paul McCartney, but its still good) and his portrayal is heart-breaking to watch and spine-tingling to cover your eyes. Ms Lovitt is played by the ever quirky and enjoyably amazing Helena 'Beetlejuice' Boham Carter. Her voice is stunning as well with stellar make-up and costume for all the character (But where did Todd get the white streak in his hair, was prison life that scary or did the prison gangs just want to dye his hair.)

 Alan Rickman and Timothy Spall each play the most ruthless and disgusting men in all of film musicals, they're even more ruthless than Snape and Wormtail (OH WAIT!). And of coarse, Cohen is hilarious as Pirelli, singing one of the most whimsical songs about self appreciation and vanity since 'I'm super' thanks for asking' (South park). I like that the Judge doesn't claim to be a good man and almost accepts it (It's kind of similar to Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame with the evil judge who causes the misery of the main characters). The villains in this film are very complex if you ask me, since it was the lust of Turpin that incarcerated Barker and created Todd and it was Todd that finally brought his own end. Unlike in say 'American Psycho' where at the end it fits that Patrick Bateman is not captured as it shows off the looseness and laziness of society who would rather say "glad it wasn't me that got killed" instead of putting him away for murder. In Sweeney Todd, I doubt that even in Victorian era Britain Todd would get away with mass murder and cannibalism. In fact almost all get their comeuppance in the end with the Judge facing the brutal judgment of Todd's revenge, Lovitt getting axed for lying to Todd about his wife dying and Todd finally coming to the realization that revenge has become his entire point of living, even killing those closest to him to gain it and after getting it, he feels empty and nothing. That scene is just so tragic, the man who murdered many before our eyes suddenly gaining our sympathy in those final closing moments of the film. 

So here's what I dislike...well the...how about the...Yeah OK there is little to nothing wrong with this film. But if you want me to nitpick, I would have loved to see more of the Judge and his coming to grips with his decisions (how they don't affect him at all) and his infatuation with Todd's daughter. Yes there seems to be a love triangle between him, Anthony and Johanna. But to the movies credit it's pretty downplayed. Yet at the same time I actually wanted to see more of the young lovers and how they disscuss their affections and their plans, no movie seems to be able to do this right so I won't give the film too much grief. But the conversations the two would have could be very interesting, but I doubt if Todd would have approved his daughter marrying his friend (that's for a very half assed sequel if it ever gets made). Also I wanted it to be longer in running time so as to fit all these additions in. 

But of coarse if I could find only the smallest bits to critique, then my praise is overwhelming. I love the music and songs. My favorites are probably 'My Friends' and 'Have a little Priest'. One for how hauntingly beautiful it is and the other by how disgustingly/morbidly enjoyable it is. I must commend Burton for his choices and consulting the original writer rather than just taking liberties whenever he wants. Of coarse there are the other songs as well, but I love them all the just the same. The acting, What can I say, he was robbed, it's not only hard to sing and act, but to do it well and not win for the third time. It was to Daniel Day-Lewis that it went and if he didn't win I say he might have just given up on acting. Rickman and Helena are both wonderful. The story is tragic. The setting in Victorian era and the street's and buildings, especially the parlor, are such exquisite designs and me and my friend are just blown away by it. The direction is brilliant, with Burton's control over his friends being used to his advantage. What else can I say, It's probably my second favorite movie musical after A Hard Day's Night. 
For those musical lovers, Burton aficionado's and Depp fans, this ones for all of you and those contemporary audiences whom we indie/cult movie lovers despise...WATCH IT! 

Video by Movieclips.com (can be found on youtube, very good for movie lovers)

Friday 18 October 2013

Script Fix

And now it is time to keep our appointment with That Indie Reviewer. Today's special script fix is of a movie so terrifying, so cruel, so foul, that the critics had no choice but to pan it. It is Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter.
OK, it's not bad per say but I see where the critics are coming from. Cartoonish action, poor CGI and cluttered story telling. Well I am here to set the story straight about how it can be a better film. Nothing revolutionary, but definitely entertaining and cohesive.


  1. Keep to the story of Lincolns life, or more importantly keep to the novel it was based on (yeah, I bet you didn't know this was based on a novel). Keep the journal central to the plot because that's how this story was told, keep the companions he made, like Edgar Allen Poe and not the freed slave (who's name escapes me) and keep the stealth. Lincoln didn't go around telling everyone that he was a vampire and went on many successful missions but also had many failures. 
  2.  Start with Lincolns birth, followed by his rural, impoverished upbringing,and show the transition from determined hunter to the conqueror of evil. A lot of tragedies happen in his life (the real Lincoln) and each should be reflected in many parts of the film. We have the opportunity to make a very serious drama as well as action/horror. 
  3. Also remove the "villain", as it shouldn't be made personal by Abe hunting one vampire, it should be a vendetta with extreme prejudice, thus making it more contradictory when he must free the slaves, who also suffer prejudice at the hands of man.
  4. The effects should be kept for less elaborate scenes. There shouldn't be a climax on a train, it should be a couple of hunts for vampires with some gruesome and realistic kills. Burton might be producing, but take some ques from him and use the models and creepy (Sleepy Hollow) imagery. 
  5. Henry told Lincoln right off the bat that he was a vampire and is very willing to help Lincoln as he has no singular vendettas and seeks to defeat the 'evil' vampires. This then develops into a very trust heavy relationship as Lincoln trusts Henry enough to follow through with his plans of abolition during his presidency.
  6. The civil war is started by the southern vampires after Lincoln wins the candidacy and eventually the office. We  must keep Lincoln in office and not make him a warrior, because most of the success of the war was done in the oval office.
  7. The ending should be kept the same, with Lincoln turned into a vampire, Henry hunting down Booths and killing him and Lincoln surviving to meet JFK and Martin Luther King Jr. This is done because "some men are just too interesting to die. And this should be reflected in the film, Lincoln is not only a debater, President and emancipator, but a Hunter and a Warrior.
I realize that many of you will not have read the novel or seen the film and so is confused by what I am saying. But it is a guilty pleasure of mine for a reason. The acting is pretty good from the main characters, the vampires are done right, as well as given some cool updates and the fight scenes are very well done. And what can I say about the ax, it is now my favorite weapon to use against Vampires, zombies and a whole host of other creepy things. So it is a OK film at best, but I hope I might have fixed it well enough for the fans. Look out for my review of Sweeney Todd this week-end, you don't want to miss it.
Video by Joblo on youtube.

Sunday 13 October 2013

Night of the living dead


Remember when I said I would review a Burton film for Halloween month, well I sort of lied. I have way too many films to review that the Burton review will have to do. Also, now that I think about it, Braindead and the Re-animator are actually good films and I stick with my reviews of them.
Without further to do this is Night of the Living Dead.

Controversial for it's time due to gore, a black lead and horrifying story, it has now become one of the most important films in America. Not to mention one of the most influential zombie horror film, most successful independent film (until being overtaken by The Blair Witch Project), it is one of the best movies, according to critics, you will see. Let's take a look at this "amazing" film and see why it has such a lasting impact.

The story follows Barbra, Duane and five others as they protect themselves against the living dead (Not Zombies, the phrase hasn't taken hold yet at this point) and the internal conflict of each character as they come to grips with this new reality and what it comes from it. Ben is a black man who's authority is constantly called into question by the house residents, Barbra is left in a mostly catatonic state after witnessing her brother being attacked and killed in the opening scene and Mr Cooper is struggling to maintain order while juggling keeping his daughter and wife alive. From here there is argument, followed by insults, followed by fighting, all the while more and more living dead are accumulating outside. Here we see the true essence of zombies in horror, not the monster but the situation and the realization that all this is leading to the loss of their common sense and leading to chaos.

Most of these cult movies are poignant due to their satire of the status quo and calling into question society, politics and humanity. Here Romero has captured the essence of civil indifference and racism, even during a time of crisis and required order. Who would you choose, the sensible, intelligent, yet tough black man or the erratic, irrational bigot of a family man who has a lot to loose. 
But you don't want to watch a film just for that, you want the gore and killing. Well sorry to say it is relatively tame compared to today's standards. Every strike is off-camera and left to the imagination of the viewer to decide how brutal the blow is (much like Micheal Madsens scene from Reservoir Dogs or the shower from Psycho). And it is shot in monotone black and white (low budget films, how far we have come.) so not much blood is really seen. But that doesn't make the violence any less brutal, with fire's and shootings and eating flesh from the bone. Sadly, if there is one thing lacking it's the acting. Don't get me wrong, the zombies are brilliant and Duane Jones is a very charismatic actor, but Barbra actor, Judith O'Dea can come off as a bit over the top in the opening scene, you'd almost think it was a B-grade comedy. Also the young couple are kind of sporadic in their delivery some times leading into some awkward moments. But as the film goes on and you stick with it, the shocks and scares really pay off (just not for me). To be brutally honest, even though I set the mood (turned off the lights, popped off headphones so the creaking house feel could be heard) but I just was not scared of it, but hey that is just me. 

 If you like this movie, then you will love the sequels even more, especially the next one, Dawn of the Dead(1985 not the damn remake). And these aren't your typical shuffling zombies, they adapt and run and use tools for mutilation and hunting. So turn out the lights, keep some fire ready, load your guns. But don't worry these are monsters, the stuff of myths and legends, so sleep tight, keep quiet and remember,
                                                      DON'T HAVE NIGHTMARES!

Friday 11 October 2013

Cabin in the woods


Don't even say it, yes it is a mainstream film, yes it is a recent film and yes it is a...really good movie. By Producer Joss Whedon, the god of the nerds,(is that Joss like Ross or like josh, in which case why can't he spell it that way) comes the movie you have all seen before, but with a twist. Instead of the generic teenage slasher stereo-types (nerd, jock, pot-head, etc.) we get those...exact same characters except played by likable actors. If you have seen those horror movies with those assorted characters you can ramble off their back story  ethinacy, social standing and demise like your twitter followers (I'm up to 30 now!). But this time it's Evil Dead meets the Truman Show (with the same amount of humor and horror, not so much horror from Truman show, just saying) and the whole world is in the palms of some of the most ruthless, demented, evil, sociopathic...wait what!..white collar TV executives. Well that's pretty much the same thing. With awesome horror, good humor and clever social commentary which you don't care about, this is Cabin in the Woods.

The story sets off by introducing our characters in a very good nature tone, each them are kind, smart and get in a decent laugh. They are setting out for the usual spring break road trip to an isolated cabin in the middle of the woods. Little do they realize this has bee all set into motion by the big TV industry to provide some scary reality TV. After a run in with the standard crazy red-neck, they make their cabin a good hot-spot. All while this is happening, the industry is getting ready all the scares and all the clever science is going on (eg blond hair die makes the blond gal loose and pretty much brain dead) . And from here the jokes and scares come at a mile a minute, along with clever Easter eggs and in-jokes.The teens fight for their lives in the eye of big brother and monsters.

As well as being an original horror film rather than a remake, it is also a cleverly written, well acted, well developed effects, and laden with references only the devote horror guru or cinefile (obsessed with films like me and talks about them constantly). To tell the truth I don't think many saw it (probably as it is a horror film, partly as it is a slasher, but mostly as it is just so good) as it did not very well at the box-office, so that almost makes it a cult classic. If there is something I dislike it's the deaths of the characters (not saying who), they are pretty standard. In fact the parody in robot chicken had better deaths. I just wish they had thought them out a bit better, rather than just faking us out three times.

But I just love everyone else in the movie. The two controllers who are constantly bickering and the pot head Marty who is so much cooler than those idiot actors in other movies, actually figuring out the whole mystery. The rest of the cast is likable, they stripped horror back to the roots and gave it a good ambassador. You think you know the story of the cabin you have no idea what's in store. The dialog is also very...Whedon like, very natural, very funny, very firefly (watch the show dammit!) I think I should stop here and let you guys watch it before I completely spoil it. Overall, one of the best Hor/com since Beetlejuice and well worth a watch for Halloween. 


Friday 4 October 2013

Directors Chair: Tim Burton

For the month of October, I will be celebrating the best of horror and thriller until Halloween. I will post twice a week from now on. My first Post of Horror month is my discussion on one of my favorite directors, Tim Burton. Always famous for his dark, quirky and surreal movies, Burton has recently not been doing well in his films (OK Frankenweenie was good, maybe he can keep it up). But his adaptive work has really suffered. Another thing that the general population feel about his films are that they are weird, macabre and confusing. Well I am here to set the record straight, that his films are not only underrated but also potentially legendary. 

Lets get on to the bad films he has been having more recently. His adaption of Planet of the apes, Charlie and the chocolate factory and Dark Shadows were met with mostly mixed to negative criticism  but were box office hits. And we can't forget his involvement in producing other bad films like Abraham Lincoln Vampire hunter and Cabin Boy. These films, although poorly received, were box-office hits and have developed a cult following. Of coarse in my opinion I liked Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter, Alice in wonderland and Charlie and the chocolate factory when they came out, they were fun and had that Burton appeal like in most of his films (initially of coarse). 

But lets not forget that Burton made a staple in cinema and started out by adaptions. These include Batman, Batman Returns, Pee-wee's big adventure and Sweeney Todd the demon barber of fleet street. Each of these films are among some of the best I have ever seen, with visual flare, morbid themes, stellar acting and an endearing fan base per film it's hard to think that anyone else could have directed these films. Batman is one of the best comic book adaptions you could ever see and Sweeney Todd is the darkest and most gruesome films I have ever seen (and it was so cool). Each of these films have been held in such high regard that they immediately dwarf all the bad ones. Audiences love 'em, critics love 'em and I adore them.

But now for my main card. It is no doubt that his best films are his original one's. Stories told with a lot of heart, a lot of morbid twists and a lot of spectacular acting. Of all his films, none match up to the standard of The nightmare before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands. Each one is so amazing they imprint on our minds like a stamp press. After seeing Ed Wood it finally hit me why I enjoy his work. It's because it inspires me and amazes me how well he has done. His campy 1950-60's, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Vincent Price inspired background only cements how awesome he is. One thing I can say about Edward Wood is that while he may be the worst director of all time, he is also the most influential. His passion for film has transcended to Tim and it has only served him well. His drive and passion for what he loves is something I really look up to. The surreal worlds are something that me and my friends can all agree on are mesmerizing. 

This is really why Burton is this blogs favorite director, with each film becoming a cult classic or is just a very good film. There should be more concentration on his original and good adaption works than his blockbuster sell-outs. So Burton is still my favorite director and I think he should be most everybody else's as well. (And as for my review of some Burton films, look out for my reviews of Ed Wood next month and Look Out for my review of Sleepy Hollow and Beetlejuice this horror month.)
 
Thanks to superXIL for the youtube video.
I would also like to point out that I may have been too positive in my reviews in the past so I will be re-reviewing the Re-Animator and Braindead with a much more critical view.